Slim; A POEM

RIP Slim

things dont last long
and lifes to short
to abort, another life
not by the knife
but by christ

it happens too fast
no time to laugh
one who was once there
isnt there
its not fair

let the tears roll down
breathe; try not to hit the ground
for your weak and cant speak
and sympathy takes its peak

though in a better place
you cant help but pace
why couldnt things be different
why Him; why Slim.

he brought a smile to my face
and laughter in every way
in any place
he could make someones day

time was cut too short
i wish there was a rewind of some sort
change the ending
put his homecoming on pending

but i guess i understand
when its my turn
i hope you can take my hand


.

LOVE

I used to think love just wasnt something written in the books for me . Putting up with the same shit over and over again because I was honestly too stupid to say enough is enough . I just didn't want to let it go . Same old bullshit , but with a different person .

All up until now , I gave up on love . I can't say that this relationship has been perfect , no two people are perfect so thats kind of impossible . You have to make the imperfection perfection is how I look at it . I put up with some of that same bullshit I complained about in this relationship too . I'm a forgiving person , and as I said before , it's hard to just let go . Only difference is you can tell when someone really cares and when they really want to change . I've made my mistakes too , I'm nowhere near perfect . I made the same mistake more than once in this relationship , but I can honestly say that's all done .

Is it really possible to find a relationship where neither person never makes a mistake ? I love this girl with all my heart and she's the only person I wanna spend forever with . It just sucks that sometimes it feels like we're goin in circles . The same stupid arguing over nothing at all , the jealousy , not communicating like we should . The communication has never really been there 100% . There have been times when we've been good for a while . I don't know if it's the frustration of not being able to see eachother right now . Three months is a long time to go without seeing someone you love . Maybe this is just an obstacle that we need to figure out how to deal with . Something we have to go through to see how strong our love truly is . Or should we let it go for awhile and see if we end up back where we are , which would mean it's meant to be right ?

It's only been eight months , seems like forever , but in reality thats just the beginning .

They say only time can tell ? but when its real you know it from the start right ? I feel like I've known this from the start and nothing has told me that its the end so I hope this really is meant to be !

"Love is blind" sometimes we don't see what we really want to see , but I'm not a dumb girl , I atleast can say with this relationship my eyes have always been completely open . I know when something is goin down and I know when things are all good . Right now , I'm not being done wrong , I know that . I just wish we could get past this stump in our relationship that we're at right now . The arguing gets so frustrating and it doesn't make anything better; atleast not when it's happening constantly , everyday .

Love is one complicated thing . I guess you just have to go through the trials and tribulations and see what's waiting for you at the end .

just some words

at times i think i've learned a lesson, but a lot of times i find out differently. i'll have my mind set on what ima do when somethin' qoes wronq, but a lot of times i qo back on it. as of now i feel stuck; i tell other ppl "its not that hard" when qivin them advice; i think i lied. i say to her "make up your mind; fiqure out what you want." i see that it can be hard. i'm down for one, but at a random time past feelinqs come back. i'm where i think i should be, but i won't let it qo. i dont trust where i'm at 100%, but it feels qood? yeaa, i keep qoin back ? it'll be all qood and then i "remember"; why do i have to remember? its a mark on my heart, and it will never qo away. i feel like i'm cheatin' w/ my words and feelinqs; i'm sorry, but then aqain i'm not. i like tha feelinq of tha past, bt when i qet toqether w/ it, it doesnt stay consistant. in a way my present is my past too. i've qiven it another try; tha third time i'm qoin at it. i wanted to let it qo jst days aqo, but i'm still here. its too far away, and w/ our past i cant be sure its faithful; i cant trust it until its here. i feel like i owe it somethin', i just cant leave it alone. i cant keep it a secret for lonq; my past and past/present will eventually catch up w/ me. they'll meet and i'll have to choose. i'll fiqure it out somehow. hopefully before its too late. but i just need them both

someone so close, actinq too different. it's not my obliqation to try and chanqe that. i shouldnt have to in the first place. i'm not puttin in the effort if i'll be tha only one.

nuthin in my life is tha same anymore.

i quess thats just how thinqs qo.